Hi.

If you knew all the things going through my head during a wod, you would wonder how I even finished in the time it takes me.  I come from a dance background where you think about the music and the story and just living through the music, even with dance team competitions you think about where you need to attack and breathe and lines and spacing (and face).  This is nothing like how you need to prepare for crossfit.  Today during my workout I was thinking about how much my back hurt, how much I couldn't breathe, and how slow I was going. 

Today's strength work was deadlifts.  I like deadlifts normally. Today wasn't that day, I miscalculated in my warm up sets (I am sensing a trend) and then had to make up ground to get to my working sets.  Once I got there I had to drop back down.  I am not sure where I finished, I dropped from 195, so I think I was working around 175, though it felt much heavier than the warm up I did at 165, so who knows.  The workout was 21-15-9 deadlifts at 50% 1RM, and box jumps.  I used 125 for the workout, as my previous 1rep max was 255.  Dave said this workout should feel something like Fran (21-15-9 thrusters and pull ups) with nothing left in the tank at the end.  I paused in the first set of deadlifts twice, the second set twice, and the third set once.  My box jumps were nothing like consecutive, and while I was spent at the end, I know there was a bit left in the tank.  Dave said I just need to get my mind right because I am able to do more (did I mention I took a water break), but for some reason, when I am in the middle of a  workout I feel like I can't keep going cause I can't breathe or my back hurts, or my hands hurt or whatever excuse I can come up with.

I'm giving myself the two months till the challenge to quit the negative thoughts.  I'm thinking I might start working out only to the Rocky IV soundtrack so I think about Rocky running through snow and carrying logs, which makes 45 deadlifts seem like nothing. I am also applying this focus to my diet as it has been poor the past few days.  I am pretty bored with my usual spaghetti squash with sauce and need to think up new options. I am out of town this weekend, so this was my last workout of this week, but next week I am back at it better than ever!